Keep Your Eyes on the Prize

This post title is inspired by the song off of Sara Groves' new album, "Invisible Empires"
http://www.saragroves.com/

Well, here we are.  On the first day of our final underway with our ship.  It's hard to believe we began this journey in January of 2008!  By the time it's completely said and done, it will have been almost four years we've been assigned to the ship. 

When we started, Lainie had just turned three and Miles was only nine months old.  Now I have a first grader at six and a half, and a Pre-K student, and almost four and a half.  Oh, how the years go by.

We are looking forward to the fall and holiday season.  It will be so nice to have Ahron home for so many special occasions this year!  There will be a separation period in January and February as Ahron heads back to the East coast to complete another school, but after that we have shore duty to look forward to! 

In so many ways we've all changed and grown as God carries us forward.  I may be lonely, but I'm never alone and that thought is comforting to me.  I'm looking forward to pumpkins, a chill in the air and remembering all of the blessings we've been given. 

Summer Roundup!

Wow, I have to say this summer is going by very quickly.  It seemed like Elaine just got out of Kindergarten.  Now she's less then a month away from starting first grade!  My little guy, Miles, will be going to a different preschool this year.  Though I dearly loved the one he was in last year, with so many new things on the horizon for me job and school-wise, it will be best for him to be in a non-co-op school. 

Having a child in all day school brings upon all sorts of new options for us.  Hot or cold lunch?  Bus or car rides?  Elaine absolutely loved riding the bus last year.  I'm a little excited and nervous for her to be gone all day.  It seems like a very long day for the both of us, but I'm sure we'll manage and get used to our new schedule. 

Speaking of schedules, our schedules were absolutely packed the first week of August.  I met my Mom and some of my cousins at the Seattle Zoo on July 30th.  We took the Southworth Ferry over to Fauntleroy (aka West Seattle).  This is officially my favorite ferry.  It's a beautiful and short ride.  Fauntleroy is this tiny little residential area with all of these charming little houses.  It's where I would live if I was ever a Seattlelite. 

The next day, Sunday the 31st. we decided to drive home to Yakima instead of waiting until Wednesday.  So in a rush we packed for the week, including lots of extras for my brother's upcoming Saturday wedding.

 In my hometown of Yakima, there is always so much to do.  Most of my family still lives there and we all seem to get together quite often during summer and holidays.  So between coach pitch games and shopping trips, movie nights and lunches out we A)went broke and B)were completely worn out emotionally and physically by Sunday night!  The wedding was lovely though and I'm so glad my brother married someone who loves him so much.  They both deserve happiness and good things.

On Monday we came home and since then, we've been getting ready for Ahron to come home.  He's been out to sea for one month today.  The Chief results came out while he was at sea.  It was another no-go for us this year.  Although it was disappointing, we are relieved that we can stay in our house for another year!  We love our house, and we love being just a couple of hours from family. 

Since we hardly have had any time together this summer, he put in for a week of leave in September right before Elaine starts school, and I am thrilled to have him all to ourselves for a week. 

Well, that's our summer round-up!  I worried we'd be too bored at the beginning, but it's been a great summer so far!  I'm really looking forward to having Ahron home, and now just 3.5 months until shore duty.   

One Day at a Time

I had not intended for this underway time to be so overwhelming.  It kind of just snuck up on me.  Obviously, we're fine.  The sun is shining in Western Washington today and that seems to make things better. 

But it feels like we're on deployment again.  Last night I pulled up my Bible verse-a day app on my iPhone.  It was the one about it not being good for man to be alone.  This is part of the reason God created marriage. 

Then I wonder, if God knows it is not good to be alone, why are we separated like this?  Why must we endure this?  Ahron has the most logical answer, "Because I'm on sea duty." 

I'm always over-thinking things.  Once my daughter drew a picture of our family, with me, her and her brother on one row, and Daddy down below.  I couldn't help but notice Ahron in his own row, separate from the rest of us and I questioned her about it.  All kinds of thoughts swirled in my head.  I'm damaging my children with our lifestyle.  She will be scarred for life!  Yet, without hesitation she answered, "Because I ran out of room on the paper." 

Sometimes things just are as they are and we must accept them for what they are.  I can honestly say I don't take for granted the time we are together. 

New Look

Thought I'd try out a new look on the blog.  Hopefully it's not too bright!

The Bleak Reality For Our Nation's Finest

I came across this article in The Los Angeles Times this morning:

Veterans and Unemployment

I am included in the "Gulf War era-II veterans."  Though I'm not technically unemployed as I'm not actively seeking employment at the moment.  But that should change within the next 6-8 months and I look to jump back into the workforce. 

The statistics are intimidating.  The US unemployment rate was 9.2% in June 2011.  According the the article, for military veterans it was 13.3%.  The article states that one of the problems is that most military veterans don't have the degrees that employers are seeking. 

The degree issue is a tough one.  I can say with all honesty that when I was enlisted ten years ago, there was a high importance placed, not on working toward a college degree, but on standing out among my peers and excelling among things like making rank and earning qualifications.  These ranks and qualifications mean very little to prospective employers in the civilian world.  This proved very frustrating for me as I knew all along that I was getting out of the military.  I wanted to start working toward a degree but I wasn't able to start until 2005, at the tail end of my service.  Even then, saddled with two young children and a dwindling GI Bill, I was only able to earn my Associates Degree at the time. 

The military made some strides toward amending this.  The Post-9/11 GI Bill enacted recently, added 12 additional months of paid tuition toward my college education.  That's great news for me! 

But here's where I differ from most veterans seeking employment.  My husband is still active duty.  We can survive off of one income, and we have for the last five years.  I don't have to work and we are very blessed in that regard. Our medical expenses are completely covered. I can't imagine being an E-3, 4, or 5 and trying to support my entire family, without a college degree and only a few years of military experience.

Some military experience can count toward college credits but not all, and it doesn't replace a degree.   

Within the comments section of the article, Gogogto said:
Let's start by giving veterans preferential admission to all public universities. 

Agreed!  Why are public universities not greatly lowering the cost for a veteran's tuition?  Why are there not more distance classes offered through these public universities?  Why are most distance classes offered only through expensive private schools that rob veterans blind of their precious GI Bill funds?  Yes, there are some public universities that offer discounted rates but that's just not enough.  Most veterans need to work some hours to supplement income while they are in school.  I believe if there were more laws for public universities to offer better programs to veterans we could equip these former Soldiers, Sailors and Airmen with the education needed to succeed in the civilian job sector.  With college tuition higher than ever, it often feels impossible to enroll in college and work at the same time. 

It might be easy for mainstream civilians to say, "Well, just stay in the military and don't get out!  Get to that 20-year retirement."  Here's the problem with that:  The Navy is downsizing.  They are kicking people out left and right.  These are people serving honorably, top performers even.  Not every service member has a choice as to whether they are currently seeking employment.  Veterans with PTSD and other medical issues have an even greater stress on them as they battle through the system to get coverage for physical and emotional problems. 

I am not one of those people who feels personally entitled to the easy way out.  I'm not saying all veterans should be entitled to every benefit and grant money under the sun.  But let's prioritize the needs of veterans and their desire for a good education.  The GI Bill needs to be more easily accessible for military members while they are still serving so they can get a leg up before they transition out.  There is no easy answer for this problem.  It's going to take a lot of money (of which there is little) time (of which most people don't have a lot of) and cooperation on the veteran and civilian companies part to fix this. Sadly, the sacrifices don't always end with service and a lot of veterans are learning this the hard way.  Our nation's veterans deserve so much better.   
 

Sharing With You: Gary Sinise and the Lt. Dan Band.

Yesterday our USO and Triwest health care put on an amazing summer concert on base.  Best part of all, everything was free!  Free food and free activities for kids.  That's my kind of party. 

Gary Sinise and the Lt. Dan Band came to perform for us.  Gary Sinise plays bass in the band.  It was great!  Family-friendly, dance-worthy, very, very fun.  He is one of those actors you feel like you'd want to sit down and have a beer with. 

Anyway, here's the link to his website.  I am so grateful they came to perform for us!

http://www.ltdanband.com/

Someone please tell me why we extended again?

Because I'd sure as heck rather be on shore duty in Japan again then getting ready for more sea time this summer!

I know, I know, the grass is always greener on the other side.  It's just really hard to see through all of this muck right now. 

This is a very stressful time for us.  We have upcoming Chief results, hopefully by the end of this month and we are always biting our nails in nervousness and anticipation.  This is Ahron's third time up for this promotion.  It's a big one for the Navy.  Being an E-7 and Chief Petty Officer completely changes his role in the Navy.  It's like the civilian equivalent of moving into a management position.  But it's a tough and competitive road to get there.  It starts with an exam in January, then a package submission in May.  The selection board usually convenes in June/July, followed by results and a 5-6 week induction of the new Chiefs in August and September. 

Also, the long commutes are really starting to wear on Ahron.  When we moved out here in 2008, we did so knowing that he would be out to sea more than in port.  He takes a vanpool to commute but it's just over 2 hours each way.  Which means he has to leave at 3:30am every morning and then doesn't walk in the door until 6pm. 

So yes, a very stressful time for him, and then trying to mesh that with all of me and the kid's summer plans isn't going so well.  I want him to be included and there for the kids but he's too exhausted to do anything.  It causes tension. 

Of course, we'll work through it, we always do.  I find it very interesting though that whenever we get ready for long periods of underway time, we fight in order to build respective walls around us.  Then it's easier when he leaves because silly emotions don't get in the way. Oh, the life of a Navy Wife.  

AT LEAST the sun is shining bright this week. 

Summer, very loose tooth and more

Yesterday was officially the first day of summer and we couldn't have asked for better weather in Western Washington.  The sun was warm and bright and the sky was blue.  Perfection.

We have a lot on the horizon for summer, and unfortunately most of it will be spent without my better half as Ahron head back out to those familiar Pacific waters.  In short there will be two family weddings, family visiting, trips to Yakima and hopefully this year the big E-7 promotion we've been waiting for. 

Exciting news in our household, my daughter officially has her first very wiggly tooth.  Actually she has two loose teeth.  I suspect the tooth fairy will be visiting 'round these parts soon. 

Speaking of teeth, I finally took the plunge and got braces!  It is pretty humiliating for now but the payoff will be worth it to have a beautiful smile. 

Defining Motherhood

Note: I thought this would be fun twist in Defining Deployment since in addition to being a Navy spouse, my first job is to be a mom

Motherhood is:

Walking into your bathroom and seeing Spongebob Squarepants band-aids stuck like stickers all over the floor.  Cue me yelling, "Who got into the band aids?"

Do you ever think in poetry?

I do. 
I wrote my first poem in second grade.  Mrs. McKeown, my teacher at McKinley Elementary, assigned us a poem after we read a poem book about the ocean.  I remember writing it, carefully choosing rhymes that would make sense, and sound nice, and also tell a story.  I wish I still had it.  I remember it was very clever and funny too. 

From that very first poem I wrote, my love of poetry took off.  I read it voraciously.  In the beginning, Shel Silverstein was my absolute favorite.  He still remains one of my favorites.  I loved his innocence in the poems he wrote. 

When I was 10, my Dad encouraged me to write a poem for a contest at U.S. Bank, his place of employment at the time.  The poem had to be in the theme of African-American History Month.  My limited knowledge of the struggles of African-Americans  and civil rights in general led me to write about Rosa Parks.  I knew her story well from Women's History Month presentations put on at my school.  I submitted the poem and was selected as one of the winners from the Northwest.  This encouraged me greatly.  One of the other winners, a kindly older gentleman at the reading in Seattle, shook my hand afterward.  He told me something that still affects me deeply.  "Never stop writing," he said to me.  In all of my ten-year old meekness, I took his advice to heart, and very seriously. 

Through my teenage years, poetry acted as a buffer between my very dramatic emotions and the scenes unfolding around me.  I felt very out of control in my teenage years.  Our family dynamic was changing a lot at the time, as my older brother grew into an angry teenager and fought a lot with my parents.  I buried myself into the social escapades of junior high and high school as all teenagers do, and wrote poems about relationships that I thought I was having with boys (I wasn't, it was mostly in my head), about my family and the things that were important to me.  My poems became somewhat angst-filled and occasionally idealistic about the future. 

It always came very naturally to me, writing and poetry.  As I came of age in my high school years and began to become very aware of my internal thinking, I noticed that a lot of times I would think in poetry.  The way I describe a scene in my head sounded poetic.  When I walked alone under the stars in Guam, poems swirled in my head.  When I married my best friend, when we looked into the eyes of our first born and then second, poems and words from poems I had read came to me and I formed my own.

Over the last six years since my first child was born and I became immersed in the busy life of a stay-at-home-mom, I've found that the urge to write is largely missing.  With the exception of a few moments over the last few years I haven't written much beyond these blog posts.  I am mostly indifferent to it, but sometimes feel a twinge of sadness for my dwindling gifts.  But the blog posts have helped to awaken a part of me that I believe is a permanent part of my soul.  It gives me a place to put something out into the universe, whether it's read or not by anyone, I don't care.  But at least it's coming out of me. 

So, here's my thoughts for this morning as I drove back from taking my daughter to school.  Every time I drive down this main road in town called Mile Hill Drive, I think this.  So now it can come to the light. 

Descending from Mile Hill Drive,
I can see far into the valley of the Olympic Mountains. 
In winter, the gray rocks rise and give way the white snow that covers her range.
Now it's the end of spring and the deep shades of green fill the valley and make the
mountains appear darker somehow. 
Each time I drive down, I enjoy it so much. 
The view gives me an idea of just how small we are in this universe.   
But I feel lucky to be part of it.