Friday, February 20, 2015


DISCLAIMER: This blog was written shortly after or during my miscarriages in 2013.

Moments of sadness and happiness.  Life goes so fast, I can't keep up with all.
If I close my eyes I can forget about it for a few moments.  I can slip into a consciousness where I can control my emotions.  Or maybe I just get lost in it.
At the risk of feeling like a Judy Blume character I call, "Are you there God? It's me, Jamie."
Is He there? Is HE really there? I pray it's so.  I pray he's there and my baby is there.  I pray for forgiveness and for hope.  I pray someday I will understand it all.

February 2015 UPDATE!!!


I can't believe I haven't updated this blog in almost two years.  I figure now is a great time to refresh and renew it.  We are getting ready to take the monumental leap back into sea duty.  Sea duty is challenging, scary, rewarding, fulfilling.  It is the heart of the Navy.  At sea, you become a leader and you are constantly in motion.  At sea, you find yourself between the sapphire waves and endless golden sunsets.  You realize how small you are in this big, lovely world.

I miss being in the Navy some days.  I am excited for my husband, and scared for myself.   In May he will be checking into yet another aircraft carrier, the U.S.S. Nimitz (CVN 68).  The Nimitz means something to both of us.  It was my first TAD (temporary assigned duty) command.  It was his first command.  He was stationed on the USS Nimitz right out of his "A" school in 2001 until 2004 shortly before we had our first child.

The road to these new orders were interesting.  As we pondered and prayed over where we would be going next, we found these orders to be semi-available but our little Miles kept us in the running for this particular billet.  Because of his developmental delays, we are considered an "EFMP" family.  That means that we only can be stationed stateside and within five major cities.  Seattle area, Norfolk, San Diego, Jacksonville and Washington D.C.  It limits his ability to be stationed elsewhere but allows Miles access to a lot of different hospitals and therapies.  So although I was ready to flee from the gray, rainy days of Western Washington, Ahron snatched up these orders right away.

So now we are just a few short weeks away to being back to sea.  Three years on shore duty has brought us many experiences we never wanted or intended to have.  Two miscarriages.  Lots of family time....a vasectomy.  A very unexpected pregnancy. A new job and career path for me. Joy, laughter, sorrow, sadness, LIFE.

I am looking forward to what the next chapter will bring.