I'm missing my husband today. The emotions caught me in between a cat nap and cleaning out my car. It doesn't take much to make me well up. A song, a memory.
I'm beginning to realize how convenient it is for me when he's here. Because then I don't have to let others in. I don't have to to open my heart to deep personal, friendships and relationships. I don't have to ask for help. I am comfortable in that space. Stepping out of it makes me scared, it makes me fidget like I'm dressed up for a night out and not in jeans and flats.
Six weeks into it and I finally had to ask for help and I hated that. I hate that I can't do it alone. But I do appreciate everyone who's stepped up to be there for me. It's just me being stubborn.
I am learning a lot about myself.