Into the Ocean

Where is the coastguard
I keep looking each direction
For a spotlight, give me something
I need something for protection
Maybe flotsam junk will do just fine
The jetsam sunk, I'm left behind
I'm treading for my life believe me
(How can I keep up this breathing)
Not knowing how to think
I scream aloud, begin to sink
My legs and arms are broken down
With envy for the solid ground
I'm reaching for the life within me
How can one man stop his ending
I thought of just your face
Relaxed, and floated into space


I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean
Let the waves up take me down
Let the hurricane set in motion, yeah
Let the rain of what I feel right now, come down
Let the rain come down

Blue October, "Into The Ocean"

These are part of the lyrics to one of my favorite "deployment songs," as I like to categorize them.  These are songs that I choose that I can relate to during the daily grind, and the quiet nights. 

I've found music to be extremely motivating as we drag through this deployment, in the same way it was in 2002, when we were separated during our first year of marriage.

This past weekend I traveled with the kids down to my hometown.  It was awesome to be with family.  The weekend went much too fast. The children played with their Papa's 15 puppies!  We chose pumpkins and enjoyed some great Mexican food.  I felt overwhelmed when I came home for some reason.  But I got a chance to introduce myself to my new neighbor across the street, who is pregnant, with a 7-month old baby and two dogs.  Her husband will be moving up here in a couple months but for now she's on her own.  I wanted to reach out to her to let her know that she's not alone!  You can be lonely but not alone. 

I'm feeling grateful for many things lately.  One of the best parts about deployments is on the horizon.  That is...wait for it...the extra money!  It helps, it really does.  A little retail therapy is always a good thing.  I bought myself two new pairs of boots recently and it was a great feeling to have something pretty and new for myself. 

This week we don't have that much going on.   My big girl Kindergartner is out of school for conferences and today is the first day it hasn't rained in a couple of days.  We're all excited for Halloween on Sunday and tomorrow we're attending our local YMCA's harvest party.  This is a fun time of year for us.  Just need to keep our heads up.