Chaos

So the ball is rolling on the changes in our household and that has been both good and bad for me. I like having a routine, but I honestly thought the hardest part would be helping my daughter adjust to the routine and I was surprised when I actually had to take a moment to adjust too. You'd think this would be like putting on an old hat for me, the whole "new routine thing," but sometimes it just sneaks up on me.

Somewhere on the third day of Kindergarten I started to get a little sad that this is our new normal. Shuffling out the door so very early to catch the bus on time, wondering what my daughter is doing, talking about, learning. I'm running errands with my favorite son or going to the gym, or straightening up in a much too quiet house. It's been a long week for all of us, as evidenced by the fact that my daughter almost fell asleep during circle time this morning. She was exhausted as we walked home from the bus stop in the early afternoon and I'm glad she'll get to sleep in tomorrow.

Last night she was obviously tired before falling asleep but she cried and cried for her Daddy. I promised we'd get right on sending his first care package and I'm hopeful for a call this weekend. We've been emailing a lot this week, working through some issues that he had at work. He also had a huge victory by finally earning his Air Warfare pin.

In short, I've felt an array of emotions this week, sad, scared, angry, proud, excited, nervous, lonely...but I guess that's part of it all. No one goes through a deployment with a permanent smile applied to their face. We fall, we bounce back and my mantra, we keep moving forward. I think I'll say that to myself before I drift off to sleep tonight.