I had not intended for this underway time to be so overwhelming. It kind of just snuck up on me. Obviously, we're fine. The sun is shining in Western Washington today and that seems to make things better.
But it feels like we're on deployment again. Last night I pulled up my Bible verse-a day app on my iPhone. It was the one about it not being good for man to be alone. This is part of the reason God created marriage.
Then I wonder, if God knows it is not good to be alone, why are we separated like this? Why must we endure this? Ahron has the most logical answer, "Because I'm on sea duty."
I'm always over-thinking things. Once my daughter drew a picture of our family, with me, her and her brother on one row, and Daddy down below. I couldn't help but notice Ahron in his own row, separate from the rest of us and I questioned her about it. All kinds of thoughts swirled in my head. I'm damaging my children with our lifestyle. She will be scarred for life! Yet, without hesitation she answered, "Because I ran out of room on the paper."
Sometimes things just are as they are and we must accept them for what they are. I can honestly say I don't take for granted the time we are together.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Friday, July 15, 2011
Monday, July 11, 2011
The Bleak Reality For Our Nation's Finest
I came across this article in The Los Angeles Times this morning:
Veterans and Unemployment
I am included in the "Gulf War era-II veterans." Though I'm not technically unemployed as I'm not actively seeking employment at the moment. But that should change within the next 6-8 months and I look to jump back into the workforce.
The statistics are intimidating. The US unemployment rate was 9.2% in June 2011. According the the article, for military veterans it was 13.3%. The article states that one of the problems is that most military veterans don't have the degrees that employers are seeking.
The degree issue is a tough one. I can say with all honesty that when I was enlisted ten years ago, there was a high importance placed, not on working toward a college degree, but on standing out among my peers and excelling among things like making rank and earning qualifications. These ranks and qualifications mean very little to prospective employers in the civilian world. This proved very frustrating for me as I knew all along that I was getting out of the military. I wanted to start working toward a degree but I wasn't able to start until 2005, at the tail end of my service. Even then, saddled with two young children and a dwindling GI Bill, I was only able to earn my Associates Degree at the time.
The military made some strides toward amending this. The Post-9/11 GI Bill enacted recently, added 12 additional months of paid tuition toward my college education. That's great news for me!
But here's where I differ from most veterans seeking employment. My husband is still active duty. We can survive off of one income, and we have for the last five years. I don't have to work and we are very blessed in that regard. Our medical expenses are completely covered. I can't imagine being an E-3, 4, or 5 and trying to support my entire family, without a college degree and only a few years of military experience.
Some military experience can count toward college credits but not all, and it doesn't replace a degree.
Within the comments section of the article, Gogogto said:
Let's start by giving veterans preferential admission to all public universities.
Agreed! Why are public universities not greatly lowering the cost for a veteran's tuition? Why are there not more distance classes offered through these public universities? Why are most distance classes offered only through expensive private schools that rob veterans blind of their precious GI Bill funds? Yes, there are some public universities that offer discounted rates but that's just not enough. Most veterans need to work some hours to supplement income while they are in school. I believe if there were more laws for public universities to offer better programs to veterans we could equip these former Soldiers, Sailors and Airmen with the education needed to succeed in the civilian job sector. With college tuition higher than ever, it often feels impossible to enroll in college and work at the same time.
It might be easy for mainstream civilians to say, "Well, just stay in the military and don't get out! Get to that 20-year retirement." Here's the problem with that: The Navy is downsizing. They are kicking people out left and right. These are people serving honorably, top performers even. Not every service member has a choice as to whether they are currently seeking employment. Veterans with PTSD and other medical issues have an even greater stress on them as they battle through the system to get coverage for physical and emotional problems.
I am not one of those people who feels personally entitled to the easy way out. I'm not saying all veterans should be entitled to every benefit and grant money under the sun. But let's prioritize the needs of veterans and their desire for a good education. The GI Bill needs to be more easily accessible for military members while they are still serving so they can get a leg up before they transition out. There is no easy answer for this problem. It's going to take a lot of money (of which there is little) time (of which most people don't have a lot of) and cooperation on the veteran and civilian companies part to fix this. Sadly, the sacrifices don't always end with service and a lot of veterans are learning this the hard way. Our nation's veterans deserve so much better.
Veterans and Unemployment
I am included in the "Gulf War era-II veterans." Though I'm not technically unemployed as I'm not actively seeking employment at the moment. But that should change within the next 6-8 months and I look to jump back into the workforce.
The statistics are intimidating. The US unemployment rate was 9.2% in June 2011. According the the article, for military veterans it was 13.3%. The article states that one of the problems is that most military veterans don't have the degrees that employers are seeking.
The degree issue is a tough one. I can say with all honesty that when I was enlisted ten years ago, there was a high importance placed, not on working toward a college degree, but on standing out among my peers and excelling among things like making rank and earning qualifications. These ranks and qualifications mean very little to prospective employers in the civilian world. This proved very frustrating for me as I knew all along that I was getting out of the military. I wanted to start working toward a degree but I wasn't able to start until 2005, at the tail end of my service. Even then, saddled with two young children and a dwindling GI Bill, I was only able to earn my Associates Degree at the time.
The military made some strides toward amending this. The Post-9/11 GI Bill enacted recently, added 12 additional months of paid tuition toward my college education. That's great news for me!
But here's where I differ from most veterans seeking employment. My husband is still active duty. We can survive off of one income, and we have for the last five years. I don't have to work and we are very blessed in that regard. Our medical expenses are completely covered. I can't imagine being an E-3, 4, or 5 and trying to support my entire family, without a college degree and only a few years of military experience.
Some military experience can count toward college credits but not all, and it doesn't replace a degree.
Within the comments section of the article, Gogogto said:
Let's start by giving veterans preferential admission to all public universities.
Agreed! Why are public universities not greatly lowering the cost for a veteran's tuition? Why are there not more distance classes offered through these public universities? Why are most distance classes offered only through expensive private schools that rob veterans blind of their precious GI Bill funds? Yes, there are some public universities that offer discounted rates but that's just not enough. Most veterans need to work some hours to supplement income while they are in school. I believe if there were more laws for public universities to offer better programs to veterans we could equip these former Soldiers, Sailors and Airmen with the education needed to succeed in the civilian job sector. With college tuition higher than ever, it often feels impossible to enroll in college and work at the same time.
It might be easy for mainstream civilians to say, "Well, just stay in the military and don't get out! Get to that 20-year retirement." Here's the problem with that: The Navy is downsizing. They are kicking people out left and right. These are people serving honorably, top performers even. Not every service member has a choice as to whether they are currently seeking employment. Veterans with PTSD and other medical issues have an even greater stress on them as they battle through the system to get coverage for physical and emotional problems.
I am not one of those people who feels personally entitled to the easy way out. I'm not saying all veterans should be entitled to every benefit and grant money under the sun. But let's prioritize the needs of veterans and their desire for a good education. The GI Bill needs to be more easily accessible for military members while they are still serving so they can get a leg up before they transition out. There is no easy answer for this problem. It's going to take a lot of money (of which there is little) time (of which most people don't have a lot of) and cooperation on the veteran and civilian companies part to fix this. Sadly, the sacrifices don't always end with service and a lot of veterans are learning this the hard way. Our nation's veterans deserve so much better.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Sharing With You: Gary Sinise and the Lt. Dan Band.
Yesterday our USO and Triwest health care put on an amazing summer concert on base. Best part of all, everything was free! Free food and free activities for kids. That's my kind of party.
Gary Sinise and the Lt. Dan Band came to perform for us. Gary Sinise plays bass in the band. It was great! Family-friendly, dance-worthy, very, very fun. He is one of those actors you feel like you'd want to sit down and have a beer with.
Anyway, here's the link to his website. I am so grateful they came to perform for us!
http://www.ltdanband.com/
Gary Sinise and the Lt. Dan Band came to perform for us. Gary Sinise plays bass in the band. It was great! Family-friendly, dance-worthy, very, very fun. He is one of those actors you feel like you'd want to sit down and have a beer with.
Anyway, here's the link to his website. I am so grateful they came to perform for us!
http://www.ltdanband.com/
Someone please tell me why we extended again?
Because I'd sure as heck rather be on shore duty in Japan again then getting ready for more sea time this summer!
I know, I know, the grass is always greener on the other side. It's just really hard to see through all of this muck right now.
This is a very stressful time for us. We have upcoming Chief results, hopefully by the end of this month and we are always biting our nails in nervousness and anticipation. This is Ahron's third time up for this promotion. It's a big one for the Navy. Being an E-7 and Chief Petty Officer completely changes his role in the Navy. It's like the civilian equivalent of moving into a management position. But it's a tough and competitive road to get there. It starts with an exam in January, then a package submission in May. The selection board usually convenes in June/July, followed by results and a 5-6 week induction of the new Chiefs in August and September.
Also, the long commutes are really starting to wear on Ahron. When we moved out here in 2008, we did so knowing that he would be out to sea more than in port. He takes a vanpool to commute but it's just over 2 hours each way. Which means he has to leave at 3:30am every morning and then doesn't walk in the door until 6pm.
So yes, a very stressful time for him, and then trying to mesh that with all of me and the kid's summer plans isn't going so well. I want him to be included and there for the kids but he's too exhausted to do anything. It causes tension.
Of course, we'll work through it, we always do. I find it very interesting though that whenever we get ready for long periods of underway time, we fight in order to build respective walls around us. Then it's easier when he leaves because silly emotions don't get in the way. Oh, the life of a Navy Wife.
AT LEAST the sun is shining bright this week.
I know, I know, the grass is always greener on the other side. It's just really hard to see through all of this muck right now.
This is a very stressful time for us. We have upcoming Chief results, hopefully by the end of this month and we are always biting our nails in nervousness and anticipation. This is Ahron's third time up for this promotion. It's a big one for the Navy. Being an E-7 and Chief Petty Officer completely changes his role in the Navy. It's like the civilian equivalent of moving into a management position. But it's a tough and competitive road to get there. It starts with an exam in January, then a package submission in May. The selection board usually convenes in June/July, followed by results and a 5-6 week induction of the new Chiefs in August and September.
Also, the long commutes are really starting to wear on Ahron. When we moved out here in 2008, we did so knowing that he would be out to sea more than in port. He takes a vanpool to commute but it's just over 2 hours each way. Which means he has to leave at 3:30am every morning and then doesn't walk in the door until 6pm.
So yes, a very stressful time for him, and then trying to mesh that with all of me and the kid's summer plans isn't going so well. I want him to be included and there for the kids but he's too exhausted to do anything. It causes tension.
Of course, we'll work through it, we always do. I find it very interesting though that whenever we get ready for long periods of underway time, we fight in order to build respective walls around us. Then it's easier when he leaves because silly emotions don't get in the way. Oh, the life of a Navy Wife.
AT LEAST the sun is shining bright this week.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Summer, very loose tooth and more
Yesterday was officially the first day of summer and we couldn't have asked for better weather in Western Washington. The sun was warm and bright and the sky was blue. Perfection.
We have a lot on the horizon for summer, and unfortunately most of it will be spent without my better half as Ahron head back out to those familiar Pacific waters. In short there will be two family weddings, family visiting, trips to Yakima and hopefully this year the big E-7 promotion we've been waiting for.
Exciting news in our household, my daughter officially has her first very wiggly tooth. Actually she has two loose teeth. I suspect the tooth fairy will be visiting 'round these parts soon.
Speaking of teeth, I finally took the plunge and got braces! It is pretty humiliating for now but the payoff will be worth it to have a beautiful smile.
We have a lot on the horizon for summer, and unfortunately most of it will be spent without my better half as Ahron head back out to those familiar Pacific waters. In short there will be two family weddings, family visiting, trips to Yakima and hopefully this year the big E-7 promotion we've been waiting for.
Exciting news in our household, my daughter officially has her first very wiggly tooth. Actually she has two loose teeth. I suspect the tooth fairy will be visiting 'round these parts soon.
Speaking of teeth, I finally took the plunge and got braces! It is pretty humiliating for now but the payoff will be worth it to have a beautiful smile.
Defining Motherhood
Note: I thought this would be fun twist in Defining Deployment since in addition to being a Navy spouse, my first job is to be a mom
Motherhood is:
Walking into your bathroom and seeing Spongebob Squarepants band-aids stuck like stickers all over the floor. Cue me yelling, "Who got into the band aids?"
Motherhood is:
Walking into your bathroom and seeing Spongebob Squarepants band-aids stuck like stickers all over the floor. Cue me yelling, "Who got into the band aids?"
Friday, June 3, 2011
Do you ever think in poetry?
I do.
I wrote my first poem in second grade. Mrs. McKeown, my teacher at McKinley Elementary, assigned us a poem after we read a poem book about the ocean. I remember writing it, carefully choosing rhymes that would make sense, and sound nice, and also tell a story. I wish I still had it. I remember it was very clever and funny too.
From that very first poem I wrote, my love of poetry took off. I read it voraciously. In the beginning, Shel Silverstein was my absolute favorite. He still remains one of my favorites. I loved his innocence in the poems he wrote.
When I was 10, my Dad encouraged me to write a poem for a contest at U.S. Bank, his place of employment at the time. The poem had to be in the theme of African-American History Month. My limited knowledge of the struggles of African-Americans and civil rights in general led me to write about Rosa Parks. I knew her story well from Women's History Month presentations put on at my school. I submitted the poem and was selected as one of the winners from the Northwest. This encouraged me greatly. One of the other winners, a kindly older gentleman at the reading in Seattle, shook my hand afterward. He told me something that still affects me deeply. "Never stop writing," he said to me. In all of my ten-year old meekness, I took his advice to heart, and very seriously.
Through my teenage years, poetry acted as a buffer between my very dramatic emotions and the scenes unfolding around me. I felt very out of control in my teenage years. Our family dynamic was changing a lot at the time, as my older brother grew into an angry teenager and fought a lot with my parents. I buried myself into the social escapades of junior high and high school as all teenagers do, and wrote poems about relationships that I thought I was having with boys (I wasn't, it was mostly in my head), about my family and the things that were important to me. My poems became somewhat angst-filled and occasionally idealistic about the future.
It always came very naturally to me, writing and poetry. As I came of age in my high school years and began to become very aware of my internal thinking, I noticed that a lot of times I would think in poetry. The way I describe a scene in my head sounded poetic. When I walked alone under the stars in Guam, poems swirled in my head. When I married my best friend, when we looked into the eyes of our first born and then second, poems and words from poems I had read came to me and I formed my own.
Over the last six years since my first child was born and I became immersed in the busy life of a stay-at-home-mom, I've found that the urge to write is largely missing. With the exception of a few moments over the last few years I haven't written much beyond these blog posts. I am mostly indifferent to it, but sometimes feel a twinge of sadness for my dwindling gifts. But the blog posts have helped to awaken a part of me that I believe is a permanent part of my soul. It gives me a place to put something out into the universe, whether it's read or not by anyone, I don't care. But at least it's coming out of me.
So, here's my thoughts for this morning as I drove back from taking my daughter to school. Every time I drive down this main road in town called Mile Hill Drive, I think this. So now it can come to the light.
Descending from Mile Hill Drive,
I can see far into the valley of the Olympic Mountains.
In winter, the gray rocks rise and give way the white snow that covers her range.
Now it's the end of spring and the deep shades of green fill the valley and make the
mountains appear darker somehow.
Each time I drive down, I enjoy it so much.
The view gives me an idea of just how small we are in this universe.
But I feel lucky to be part of it.
I wrote my first poem in second grade. Mrs. McKeown, my teacher at McKinley Elementary, assigned us a poem after we read a poem book about the ocean. I remember writing it, carefully choosing rhymes that would make sense, and sound nice, and also tell a story. I wish I still had it. I remember it was very clever and funny too.
From that very first poem I wrote, my love of poetry took off. I read it voraciously. In the beginning, Shel Silverstein was my absolute favorite. He still remains one of my favorites. I loved his innocence in the poems he wrote.
When I was 10, my Dad encouraged me to write a poem for a contest at U.S. Bank, his place of employment at the time. The poem had to be in the theme of African-American History Month. My limited knowledge of the struggles of African-Americans and civil rights in general led me to write about Rosa Parks. I knew her story well from Women's History Month presentations put on at my school. I submitted the poem and was selected as one of the winners from the Northwest. This encouraged me greatly. One of the other winners, a kindly older gentleman at the reading in Seattle, shook my hand afterward. He told me something that still affects me deeply. "Never stop writing," he said to me. In all of my ten-year old meekness, I took his advice to heart, and very seriously.
Through my teenage years, poetry acted as a buffer between my very dramatic emotions and the scenes unfolding around me. I felt very out of control in my teenage years. Our family dynamic was changing a lot at the time, as my older brother grew into an angry teenager and fought a lot with my parents. I buried myself into the social escapades of junior high and high school as all teenagers do, and wrote poems about relationships that I thought I was having with boys (I wasn't, it was mostly in my head), about my family and the things that were important to me. My poems became somewhat angst-filled and occasionally idealistic about the future.
It always came very naturally to me, writing and poetry. As I came of age in my high school years and began to become very aware of my internal thinking, I noticed that a lot of times I would think in poetry. The way I describe a scene in my head sounded poetic. When I walked alone under the stars in Guam, poems swirled in my head. When I married my best friend, when we looked into the eyes of our first born and then second, poems and words from poems I had read came to me and I formed my own.
Over the last six years since my first child was born and I became immersed in the busy life of a stay-at-home-mom, I've found that the urge to write is largely missing. With the exception of a few moments over the last few years I haven't written much beyond these blog posts. I am mostly indifferent to it, but sometimes feel a twinge of sadness for my dwindling gifts. But the blog posts have helped to awaken a part of me that I believe is a permanent part of my soul. It gives me a place to put something out into the universe, whether it's read or not by anyone, I don't care. But at least it's coming out of me.
So, here's my thoughts for this morning as I drove back from taking my daughter to school. Every time I drive down this main road in town called Mile Hill Drive, I think this. So now it can come to the light.
Descending from Mile Hill Drive,
I can see far into the valley of the Olympic Mountains.
In winter, the gray rocks rise and give way the white snow that covers her range.
Now it's the end of spring and the deep shades of green fill the valley and make the
mountains appear darker somehow.
Each time I drive down, I enjoy it so much.
The view gives me an idea of just how small we are in this universe.
But I feel lucky to be part of it.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Spring happenings
Our lives have been on overdrive this spring amongst the wind and rain that seems to flow endlessly into the Puget Sound area. I'm not really sure we had a spring this year, even though there's not been much snow our weather has been awful. Rain, wind and storms are pretty regular here and we've only had a couple of days of sunshine.
It makes me miss growing up in a sunshine climate but I also really appreciate it when we travel home.
At the end of April, we traveled home for Easter and also celebrated our son's fourth(!) birthday.
Last Mother's Day weekend, my mom and I finally made it to Las Vegas. We had a fabulous weekend, I wish we could have stayed a little bit longer. I just kept thinking how nice it was to be able to eat without kids eating off my plate. It was amazing to sleep in a bed all to myself without kids in the bed with me.
After six and a half years of being a mom, this was my first real break for more then a day. It was nice. And when I came home, it was nice to be home again. That is exactly how a vacation should be. I felt refreshed to come home and I felt missed.
We finally also got some indication of where our next duty station would be and it looks like
(drum roll.................................................................................................................................)
We will be staying here for the next four years!
We are very, very happy by how this came to be. First of all, there are only two positions on this side of Washington. Just two. For this to happen, someone has to be leaving at the same time Ahron will be arriving. As Christians, we feel it really is an answer to prayer for our family. Our praise goes to God for giving us this blessing.
The main reason we are so thankful is because we bought our house here in 2009. The thought of already having to leave our home and find a renter was a daunting one. In retrospect, when we bought this house we were betting against the odds that we could stay here. I wish I could have had that good of luck in Las Vegas, I would have came home with a lot more winnings!
We also are happy to provide some stability for our children over the next four years. For them to get to stay in the same location for six total years is also fantastic.
The caveat (because there is always one with the military) is that if Ahron moves up in rank this year, we may have to move after all. Or maybe not. So there's always that level of uncertainty that we've come to live with in the military lifestyle. Also, he will head back to the East Coast for the first two months of 2013. But we can't focus on all the "What Ifs?" I'd much rather focus all of the positive blessings in our life.
Speaking of blessings, we are going to be taking one of my parent's 18 puppies in just about a week and a half. Adding another dog to our family is going to be a very interesting transition for our family. With this new addition, our family is now officially complete on the child and pet front. I think our home has reached capacity :)
Stay tuned for more changes in our lives to come.
It makes me miss growing up in a sunshine climate but I also really appreciate it when we travel home.
At the end of April, we traveled home for Easter and also celebrated our son's fourth(!) birthday.
Last Mother's Day weekend, my mom and I finally made it to Las Vegas. We had a fabulous weekend, I wish we could have stayed a little bit longer. I just kept thinking how nice it was to be able to eat without kids eating off my plate. It was amazing to sleep in a bed all to myself without kids in the bed with me.
After six and a half years of being a mom, this was my first real break for more then a day. It was nice. And when I came home, it was nice to be home again. That is exactly how a vacation should be. I felt refreshed to come home and I felt missed.
We finally also got some indication of where our next duty station would be and it looks like
(drum roll.................................................................................................................................)
We will be staying here for the next four years!
We are very, very happy by how this came to be. First of all, there are only two positions on this side of Washington. Just two. For this to happen, someone has to be leaving at the same time Ahron will be arriving. As Christians, we feel it really is an answer to prayer for our family. Our praise goes to God for giving us this blessing.
The main reason we are so thankful is because we bought our house here in 2009. The thought of already having to leave our home and find a renter was a daunting one. In retrospect, when we bought this house we were betting against the odds that we could stay here. I wish I could have had that good of luck in Las Vegas, I would have came home with a lot more winnings!
We also are happy to provide some stability for our children over the next four years. For them to get to stay in the same location for six total years is also fantastic.
The caveat (because there is always one with the military) is that if Ahron moves up in rank this year, we may have to move after all. Or maybe not. So there's always that level of uncertainty that we've come to live with in the military lifestyle. Also, he will head back to the East Coast for the first two months of 2013. But we can't focus on all the "What Ifs?" I'd much rather focus all of the positive blessings in our life.
Speaking of blessings, we are going to be taking one of my parent's 18 puppies in just about a week and a half. Adding another dog to our family is going to be a very interesting transition for our family. With this new addition, our family is now officially complete on the child and pet front. I think our home has reached capacity :)
Stay tuned for more changes in our lives to come.
Friday, April 15, 2011
April, the month of the military child
Just the other day Ahron and I were discussing the term "military brat."
It's somewhat foreign to us, because neither of us grew up in military households, though both of our grandfathers (his maternal and mine) were enlisted in the Navy and Army, respectively.
We've never thought of ourselves as different from the civilian family counterpart, but now that our daughter is six and our son almost four, we're starting to see a few differences emerge in our family dynamic.
Our babies, born into the military lifestyle by no choice of their own, are officially considered military brats.
I have to admit growing up the term military brat seemed like a negative word but I've since learned (thanks to lengthy Wikipedia page) that it's generally regarded as a term of respect and admiration for all of the children and teenagers that are a part of the sub-culture.
I'm grateful there are lots of Navy families in the region that we live. Our children attend school with many other military children and they almost always have someone they can relate to. I am excited for my children. They will have some beautiful opportunities in their life as military brats. And I pray every day that they will be better for it.
As part of Michelle Obama and Jill Biden's outreach to military families, here is a listing from United We Serve website on ways to honor military children in your life.
http://www.serve.gov/stories_detail.asp?tbl_servestories_id=518
It's somewhat foreign to us, because neither of us grew up in military households, though both of our grandfathers (his maternal and mine) were enlisted in the Navy and Army, respectively.
We've never thought of ourselves as different from the civilian family counterpart, but now that our daughter is six and our son almost four, we're starting to see a few differences emerge in our family dynamic.
Our babies, born into the military lifestyle by no choice of their own, are officially considered military brats.
I have to admit growing up the term military brat seemed like a negative word but I've since learned (thanks to lengthy Wikipedia page) that it's generally regarded as a term of respect and admiration for all of the children and teenagers that are a part of the sub-culture.
I'm grateful there are lots of Navy families in the region that we live. Our children attend school with many other military children and they almost always have someone they can relate to. I am excited for my children. They will have some beautiful opportunities in their life as military brats. And I pray every day that they will be better for it.
As part of Michelle Obama and Jill Biden's outreach to military families, here is a listing from United We Serve website on ways to honor military children in your life.
http://www.serve.gov/stories_detail.asp?tbl_servestories_id=518
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